What happens when we have NO friends?
A sociological study of changes in American's personal networks and close friends, provides some very interesting food for thought. I don't think the results of the study are earthshaking news, we are all aware that our lifestyles and mobility prevent us from forming close personal ties, and our present personal and social networks are very different from our past.
The study provides the evidence, now I'd like you to think about the future.
What will these mean for the US society in the next 20-40 years if it continues? What happens in a society when these relationships are no longer available? What are the "new scenarios" and what changes in behaviour do they provoke?
How will this affect our work, lifestyle, health, politics and consumer habits? What opportunities or challenges are created for workers and businesses now and into the future?
Is this an international phenomenon or limited only to the US?
How is this affecting you and your family? Is it noticeable? Is it only nostalgic to think about being part of a larger social network or are there "real" consequences when it becomes smaller?
A short quote from the article in the ASA News, June 16, 2006 says:
"AMERICANS' CIRCLE OF FRIENDS IS SHRINKING
Washington, DC —Americans’ circle of close confidants has shrunk dramatically in the past two decades and the number of people who say they have no one with whom to discuss important matters has more than doubled, according to a new study by sociologists at Duke University and the University of Arizona.
“The evidence shows that Americans have fewer confidants and those ties are also more family-based than they used to be,” said Lynn Smith-Lovin, Robert L. Wilson Professor of Sociology at Duke University and one of the study’s authors.
“This change indicates something that’s not good for our society. Ties with a close network of people create a safety net. These ties also lead to civic engagement and local political action,” she said." America's Circle of Friends is Shrinking, American Sociological Association
Other Mentions on the Net:
October 27, 2006 at 8:09 pm
I am 38 years old witha wife and 3 kids; Yet I have no confidants are freindships to speak of…I know that this will have an adverse effect on my senior years……a
I person without friends tends have more frustration buit up due to that fact they have noone to vioce their personal ideas and thoughts…communication with other people becomes more difficult and you tend to get paranoid more easily…
January 14, 2007 at 5:37 pm
I grew up with socialphobia. I stopped making friends in 7th grades and the friends I did have did not want to be my friend anymore due to becoming so depressed I could not talk anymore. I became suicidual (also my family was very abusive their was a lack of concern for my safety and mental health. I could not keep a job due to working with people. I went to counseling and still have a hard time making friends. I am early and will graduate in august. It took me a while to go to college because i had to talk to people and usually hide in my mom’s house. I still am suicidal because i have only a few friends. and the friends i have are from a ex which makes it weird because he has another girlfriend. I am still friends with another ex boyfriend but am very codependent on him.
When you have no friends you do not know who you are. You don’t feel like you exist. there is no reason to smile. friends are their to listen t problems do something with. help you in your time of need. I fear making new friends. I will be moving soon and the friends I have will not be going with me.
January 23, 2007 at 5:14 pm
I just don’t understand life, i have always been nice to people, gave and helped anyone but in the end no one ever helps me and i have no friends.
I am a gym fanatic and bodybuild but non of the people that i see over there can relate to my life, i feel alone and my pets are the only friends that care.
My life is a struggle, i am a good looking fella but any fun or friends that i have seems to go away and deep down inside it hurts , I am extremely nice and i have no friends but jerks and non caring souls always seem to have someone.
I have no one to talk to that can relate to what i go through, o well i guess thats just how life is, thanks for listening.
I hope to financially become stronger and maybe i will adopt a child and have a friend, i am a good person and it’s sad how socity is rotten. My child will be my friend and i will be his/her friend till i have a pulse .
January 24, 2007 at 11:59 pm
I’m 21 years old and I have no friends. I had tons of friends in high school and now I have none. No one talked to me after we graduated. I guess I wasn’t a good friend. I miss them a lot. They are all still best friends and it breaks me heart that I have no one. I’m jealous of my bf because he is so liked and has so many friends. I can’t understand why I don’t. I have so much I need to say and no one to say it too. I’m always depressed because of it. Right now I hate my life and it’s because I feel so alone.
January 28, 2007 at 3:14 pm
DH I know how you feel, I sit and type and i feel so alone and i have tons of phone numbers of friends from highschool next to me but none of them ever return my calls. I have always helped people and been there for everyone and no one has been there for me, my brother almost died and i was there for him slept 4 nights in a hospital till he was able to go home. I have visited my friends mother when her husband/his dad died and my friendship with him after 13 years is over. I am very social and i am a gym obsessed fella, i just don’t understand why life is like this. I bought my friend of 13 years coffee always, gave him money, helped him, took him to vegas for free , i did this because both of us had so much in common. i am 32 and a struggling entrepreneur, friendship is all i asked in my life, thats all i wanted, i just wanted someone to care as much as i have cared. My family is jaded and no one cares and i have no friends.
i have been there for everyone and no one ever been there for me, i could shed a tear but i won’t. Just my luck i guess, i want all of you lonely good people to know that i am with you and i will be your friend.
January 31, 2007 at 12:25 pm
rare, DH, tnx i dont feel that alone anymore :)
February 2, 2007 at 4:45 am
Oh my god,
I feeling like crying as i read all your posts. I really understand, I can completely relate to all that you are saying. I am not cruel and nasty the way others are yet they seem to have all the friends. I am loving and caring like you, and i would give my life to anyone who needs help. I would be the best-est friend to anyone, if people would just give me the chance.
I cannot believe how much not having friends has changed and scultured my life. I am a completely different person. And i hate who i have become.
I am not a person that particulary likes to talk about my self, i am quite happy to listen and help others in any way that i can. I am so alone, i didn’t realise being so alone could be so demoralising. Why do i have no friends, i keep on asking myself. why? I honestly cannot answer, this question is way above me. Why do people walk all over me, why do i let them? I just dont know.
I wish i could help myself, but i dont know how. My confidence and self asteem is seriously running low. Please some one help me, please be my friend!
Love & Light,
Raphaela.
February 5, 2007 at 6:01 pm
I also don’t have any friends and I’ve been ashamed of it all my life.
February 6, 2007 at 10:28 am
i am 20 yrs old. i feel the same way. i have no friends who i can share my sorrows or happiness with. i am not a bad person. i am a nice person but i have’nt managed to make any TRUE friends till now. My family and relatives make fun of me. this has made my self esteem very low. and now i have lost the ability to make friends. i somehow can’t find people who i can connect with. is there something wrong with me? or this is normal?
February 7, 2007 at 3:44 am
I’m in the same boat. I’m 33, unemployed, with almost no social skills.
I think our society has moved into most things being “disposable”, and for the most part this has also applied to people.
We do not have long-term links with neighbors anymore, or hold lifetime jobs with co-workers we know and trust. Our lives are fragmented and broken, which means our friendships will be as well. The internet, google, etc. has also been a major cause, who needs a friend to help anymore with something you can just research yourself on the all-powerful world-wide-web?
I think the only real thing we can do is sort people on a massive scale as best we can. We must save our trust, love, empathy, etc. for those people that will go above and beyond to reciprocate.
Start with people who share your passions in life to the extent you do. IE. Go do what you want where other people also do it, and talk to each and every one of them until you find the ones who feel the same way. If they don;t accept you for who you are and how you act then move on to the next person.
Unfortunately the days of trusting people indiscriminately are over, if you disagree just try leaving your car in your driveway with the keys in it and see what happens. But this does not mean we have to be alone.
February 8, 2007 at 3:29 pm
Well I am glad I found this site because I thought I was the only one feeling like this. I am 20 yrs old and All my life I had friends a ton of friends, but then I moved across the country when I was 13. I went all through high school with one friend. After high school she became this “preppy” girl and acted like she didn’t even know me. Now I have been in college for 2 1/2 years now and have not had a single friend. I feel like such an outcast. I am so depressed these days because I have no one to talk to. The only person I could vent to died last year (family member) and I had to go through that alone, I literally had no one to cry to. My parents never really talk to me much. If I ever went to them with a problem they would shrug me away or say their busy. I try to make friends but they never call me back or just eventually try to avoid me(so it seems). I don’t think im repulsive and I am not forward. I am a nice person and I have a really good personality. It just kills me. I have never been so depressed as I am now. I have actually been thinking of ways to commit suicide because I feel so alone and I feel like pretty much no one will miss me. I am so miserable it’s pathetic. I don’t know how much longer I can take this. This is the first time I have told some one about my feelings in a very long time and I told my feelings on a blog. I just don’t know how much longer I will be here. Thanks for listening…..
February 9, 2007 at 12:52 am
I’m 21. I have NO friends…not a single one. I’m really nice- at least I try to be. I am a bit shy but I do try to make friends. People just don’t seem to get me- or want to. I think I am a pretty girl, I dance and I love fashion. I’m an intelligent pre-med student. I have a lot to offer people, but I just cant make friends. I have an amazing boyfriend but I’m still lonely. Whats wrong with me? Somethimes I just want to curl up and cry. I reach out to people but they always just seem to dislike me. I don’t understand what I do wrong. I am quite confident and happy- but this part of my life is hideously depressing. I just want a few silly friends to have fun with. I’ve never expressed how I feel like this, but its amazing to see that so many other people feel the same way.
February 9, 2007 at 5:54 am
I wish i could find you all and befriend you, you guys all sound so Amazing!
Its funny, up untill now i thought it was me! I thought i was doing something wrong to make people dislike me for no reason. But, now i realise it is not!
These nasty People are not even worth my time!
I have had enough trying to fit in with other people. I have tried some many times in so many ways, i have now completely lost who i am.
I am so upset to think i have let people make me feel like this.
I am a good person and i dont deserve to be treated like im not.
“To all you lovely people out there, Remember that you are good, and that you deserve the best, and no less!
You are worth so much, and if people are stupid enough not to realise what an amazing person you are, then…. they are Really losing out!
Dont compromise any part of yourself . You are who you are, and you cannot be something your not! You are not being true to yourself.
If you are not being just you, then nobody will ever see ‘just you’ and like you for ‘you’.
Accept who you are. you sound like such great people!
Remember ‘ There is always someone for everyone’!
Love & Light Forever!
Raphael.
February 9, 2007 at 8:39 pm
My God. I’m exactly the same. I’m a 22 yr old female. An Honest,caring, hard working girl.
I have only one real friend who is at University and lives about 100 miles away. I only get to see her when she comes back and because of my working rota we hardly get to see each other that way as well. Otherwise thats it. No-one else.
I have no idea what i’m doing wrong. I’m chatty,i smile alot,i would do anything for anyone for little or nothing in return,i have plenty of interests and i’m very loyal and trustworthy.
I’m of average looks and i’ve had BF’s in the past.
Like someone who posted earlier,I also had plenty of friends in high school, all of which magically stopped contacting me seemingly over night once we’d all left.This hurt ALOT!!!
I’m starting to loose hope that i’ll never make another true friend. I’m slightly shy but normally once people start to chat to me i’ll open up and be bubbly.
I don’t think i’ll get another BF. Most males chat to me and then go off me for what apprears to be no reason at all.
I hurt so much inside because of this. I live by myself and the only company i have is a lil hamster. I swear she understands me more than other people do,as mad as it sounds.
I look around my work place and everyone has there own lil “clicks” and when i try to join in polietly,i get shrugged off and i’m left isolated again.
Like so many of you my parents are always going on about my non existant social life and they constantly refer to me as “unnatural” about not having a BF in my life.
They only add to the pain each and everytime they do this.
I’m so glad i’m not the only one who feels like this. Makes me feel better to know their are plenty of other people out there who share this same horrid experience.
February 9, 2007 at 9:55 pm
I have always had a few okay friends, then a few years ago I met Annelise, my best friend, but now I think our friendship is ending, and she is/was my only friend…It’s just so sad to have no one to talk to, and no one to have fun with anymore. All I do is homework; I just don’t feel like I have a life.. at all, but yes I am shy, so it is quite difficult for me to gain friends. But I believe I am a nice person who always gives, but never receives. With all of this happening this year my confidence has been decreasing…and I have had thoughts about suicide…a lot, but I know there’s others like you guys out there that I will hopefully meet one day, which makes me keep going.
~Chole Fransau
February 10, 2007 at 1:38 pm
Life is not fair.
February 10, 2007 at 1:38 pm
actually i dunno er help
February 10, 2007 at 5:52 pm
I’m glad I found this site. I’m 21 years old and have realized that as far back as i can remember, ive had difficulty with friends. i was always the mediater or mercy person, always the person who my friends would come to when they needed something. but, they never were there when i needed them and they used every opportunity they had to put me down as much as possible. now in college, the situation hasnt changed much. ive never liked the way i looked and i always knew thats why i didnt date much and the few guys i did date didnt treat me very well. ive tried so hard to be a good friend, and in a way, i dont mind so much that the same effort wasnt returned since deep down, i dont expect reciprocity, but, it would be nice to have someone to call and talk to…or someone call me and invite me out somewhere. my 21st birthday just passed, and it was terrible. i thought i had made good friends at school and we made plans for my birthday…all of them either forgot entirely or forgot to request off work and everything fell through. so i spent my birthday having dinner with my family, then lying to them about seeing my friends later so they wouldnt feel sorry for me. i only received two phone calls on my birthday wishing me a happy birthday. for a long time, ive blamed alot of my problems on how i look, and decided that boys only want to be friends w/ pretty girls, and girls dont want to be friends w/ unattractive girls b/c then boys wont flock to them as much…b/c of this thinking ive been bulimic since i was 14…and thats been my only good friend…i study and work alot, and i tell myself sometimes that i cant go out and do anything b/c i have work, but, really, i know i work so much so ill be busy and wont have time to think about how i have no one to do anything with. the only 2 people in my life i can call friends arent around…one is in denmark, the other married with a baby….and even before these events, i got passed over alot. maybe its selfish of me to say, but once, just once, id like to be the ‘better thing’. the something that someone would change plans or take off of work for…make time for…i know id make time for them… i wish all of you the best, and if you happen to read this, thanks, i know i wrote alot….
February 11, 2007 at 5:40 pm
Hi, everyone. I feel your pain. I’m a 28 year old dentist, and I’ve always had a hard time making and keeping friends. It’s funny how similar all your stories are to mine. It can be very depressing if you let yourself think about it. I hate checking my cell phone to see if someone called, getting excited if it says I have new voicemail, only to find out it was a patient calling to confirm an appointment time or something else like that. I’ve had many girlfriends as of late, long before I became a dentist, so I know they’re not into me for what I do. However, I hate the idea of getting married with me not having many friends at all come to my wedding. I have one friend from dental school, one from grade school, and one friend from high school that I keep in touch with. I went to college at two different places for a total of 5 years, and I don’t have a single friend that I keep in touch with from there. It’s sad, and it makes me wonder what’s wrong with me. I’m a nice person, and I know I never had a hard time making friends as a child. It really just started in junior high and high school, then just got worse in college.
I wonder what people like us are supposed to do. The reality that we live with is constantly staring us in the face that we don’t have many friends. There is endless potential to have negative thoughts about ourselves for this reality.
February 11, 2007 at 11:28 pm
(20 y/o Female) I don’t understand why I can’t make any friends. I am in college and I do try to talk to people but then they just ignore me after a few days. I am not blunt or forward. I just want that one (or a few) good girlfriend that I can go out with, shop with and just be silly with. I don’t even have one. I have a b/f who is wonderful but it’s not the same. I can’t tell him every single thing b/c it’s diff when it comes to girl talk. I love chick flicks, I love going to see them at the theatre but I usually end up renting them and watching them alone. Sure my b/f has sat through a few but like I said it’s not the same. I don’t think I am that ugly, Im blonde, blue eyes, and athletic. Just about all my clothes are designer. I try to stay up to date with the latest trends. I am so worried b/c my birthday is coming up and I don’t want to spend it alone. Another thing I am concerned with is my bf. We have been together for 2 1/2 years and have talked about possibley getting married in the near future but the problem is, is that I dont have any friends to be in the wedding nor do I have any family. All I have is my Mom and Dad. The rest of my family lives over 500 miles away and wont even try to make the trip here, they have never came to visit me and my parents since we moved and it’s been almost 7 years. So why come to my wedding. I just don’t want to embarrass myself or my b/f by not having any one on my side of the wedding. I just hate having to go through this part of my life alone. Like I said it’s not like I don’t try to make friends. I just wish I had that one good girl-friend or group of girl friends that I can pal around with and be silly with you know just be girls. I can’t help but cry b/c I feel so alone.
February 11, 2007 at 11:36 pm
if any of you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to IM me at pixiekiss145…
February 12, 2007 at 1:46 pm
It’s very sad that so many people have the same horrible experiences. I’ve just broke up with my girlfriend and now I’m very lonely and have nobody to talk to. What makes things worse is that the friend I thought I had hasn’t been there for me. She split up with her boyfriend last year and I got very close to her and was there to listen and help her get over it. We would talk for hours, socialise together and text each other most days. I broke up with my gf over 2 weeks ago and she still hasn’t even asked me about it. I feel used as well as lonely. The most frustrating thing is that I’m at university and absolutely surrounded by people who could be my friends and I do chat to people, but nobody seems to want to be anything more than class mates with me. I would not feel comfortable meeting any of them outside of class. However when I look around it appears as if everybody has made really close friends there, except for me. It makes me feel that there is something wrong with me.
February 13, 2007 at 12:12 am
My whole life has been a mess, in my 20s i got into computers and had great jobs but my managers hated on me for being a prodigy and I had to defend myself and decided to quit my corporate jobs in 2000 and go after my own business, it’s been a horrible 7 years and Living this nightmare without much support is very harsh and brutal.
I am very honest and would like to add that i suffer from ringing in the ears and both my income and my ringing has got worse, i don’t care about the rining anymore but i wish i was successful with a business. Being the person that always gives and never gets is horrible, i have given so much as friend to others and no one cared to be my friend, i am not ugly or badlooking , i dont base loneliness due to those matters.
I have a successful brother who always boasts about his life and its funny how i was there for him when he almost overdosed, life is just funny, the good get screwed and the idiots have the fun and have the friends.
please love yourself and never think suicide, just think of it like this we all came into this world alone and we shall leave alone.
Running a business would be awesome if i had success in it and that would be a great friend for me, being unemployed and struggling without anyone to talk to is very bad and brutal.
My outlet for life is the gym , and it has been like that since i became a failure with my income since 2000, the gym is one thing that i am king of, its my domain and my heaven and joy.
You guys should think of something that will give you some strength, life is BS i agree but don’t just lay there and get kicked.
If you have no friend try to be good to the homeless people, say a hi , hello, or give them a surprise dollar once in awhile.. I am broke but i still do that, remember homeless people are in more of hell than we are, always look at how much u have it better than others and count your blessing.
I will be all of your friends!
February 13, 2007 at 11:21 pm
hey all, another person in the same boat.
I am an 18 year old male currently in first year college. Got one friend, but even that relationship isnt close. I had a few friends in highschool but they diminished before high school got done.
i went through depression for about 5 years. Im coming out of it now, been a lot happier even though my social life has been a lot less (weird eh?). What’s weirder is that i used to tell all my problems to this girl ONLINE who lived on the other side of hte world… sigh, and uh she stopped talking to me after 2.5 years… but ive been a lot happier since she left. We kind of had a romantic fling.
It’s so weird though, i chat to lots of people… Try to most times (sometimes i intentionally avoid ppl) but, everyone is like afraid of me. Im not really shy of anyone. Even people whom I never spoken to before sometimes have a hard time making eye contact with me or speaking to me.
I know something is wrong.. when my one friend doesn’t smile at the sight of me. He hasn’t for awhile, however some others that i talked to have. Sometimes I think it’s impossilbe for me establish strong relationships, and might not be far from the truth. I wonder if Im an annoying fake. Some times i know i can be fake. (Atleast i recognize it…).
Never have had a gf. Mostly cause ive been depressed during those school social years. Now it’s because girls are petrified of me (pretty sure they fidn me creepy, maybe cause im a loner?). I am a good looking guy. I know this… and I know within me I got a good personality. I just don’t know how to get it to it’s full potential. I don’t really care that i havent had a gf or even kissed a girl. Im sure that stuff will come to pass… Of course I’ve always been on the outside looking in. Seeing everyone in their cliques, them looking at pictures of them and friends having good times together. Sometimes i wish i could have pictures like that…
But Just got to look at the positive… Atleast being alone gives you time to do things you otherwise couldnt! Im pretty sure this sadness is just a laspe in my life and will go away, I cant be any more grateful, since I’ve been in the best condition I have been in years. There always ups and downs, kind of like a stock market chart.
Anyway, I dont expect anyone to read this. I know im jumping around blah blah and i basically wrote my life story. It just feels good to get stuff down. I was feeling sad today, and that’s what made me wrtie this…
I think the worst part of being alone is that… when you die, no one will be at your funeral service. That upsets me.
Anyway bless you all and dont fall into arrogance!
Bye.
February 14, 2007 at 11:12 pm
You know, maybe everyone on this list should make some sort of group and try to get to know each other. I have friends, though I lack the “close” friends that I once had. There are plenty of people I can talk to, but there is a definite change as compared to how things were when I was younger, when you had best friends whom you shared all your experiences with. I think that it’s a function of the way the world is right now - people are forced to specialize, to focus on work, to distrust others. The lack of personal communication, as well as easy access to massive groups via the internet, means that we don’t develop intimate relationships with individuals. We need individuals in our lives, or everything will fall apart. I have a lot to reflect on… used to be I could count out who my best friends were, now I don’t even think I have one.
February 15, 2007 at 4:14 am
It’s 3am here, and I can’t sleep. I thought that maybe I just was too wired from work, because that always makes me ‘high energy’ (sarcasm). I’ve had a few beers tonight, thought it might help me sleep, no. So here I am, on this message board that I don’t know, with strangers I don’t know, the only people listening. I went through my cell phone’s address book, thinking of people to call. So I called the only person I thought would: A. Be awake, B. Willing to listen. And that person happens to be about the only friend I have. He wanted nothing to do with me. He was my best friend in school, and now, when I need him, nothing. I’m married, have a child, and that should be good enough. But for the first time in about 2 years I cried tonight. Out of nowhere. Just couldn’t do anything. I tried fighting it for about 20 minutes. I’m not a cryer. I just realized I’ve had it up to the perverbeal *here*, that I can no longer take a”it”. I don’t know what “it” is, but “it” is pissing me off.
I’m sorry, I don’t know what I’m saying, I guess I just understand, and unfortunately I’m glad I’m not the only one. I’m sorry everyone else here has a similar story, and no friends alike. Maybe it’s because no matter how commanding we are, people don’t take us seriously. I can control me, but not what happens to me. I don’t know, maybe I need help. But being man, means not admitting weakness, so this is not an admission, just a venting I suppose.
Lastly, I just wish I had a friend I could have called tonight to have them just say, “Don’t worry man, everything’s gonna be alright! Do you want me to come over, we’ll have a beer, or just a cup of coffee.”
Thanks…
February 16, 2007 at 6:07 am
Hi all. I know what its like to have no friends. In my twenties I went thru the same thing. Believe me it wont last forever. I dont know what changed, I had plenty of friends up until I left school. Then I had plenty of friends until the end of my apprenticeship and then I was alone. I`m a computer Tech now and do onsite repairs, so I`m always meeting people who want to be friends with me. This may sound a bit silly but I`ll give it a try. It sounds like you all try too hard. If you stop worrying about it and go about your lives, you will automatically make friends. start a business that involves going to peoples houses, Onsite dog Wash, computer help, (even offer tutoring for older people, they have children) babysitting. anything! If anything it will take your mind off your loneliness and you will gradually become popular thru meeting people. You will be surprised how often you will spend an entire afternoon chatting with a customer. I feel so sad for you all because I know exactly how it feels to be lonely. I once was desperate and suicidal too but it soon passes.Put an ad in your local paper, town Newspaper, mow lawns clean houses, not only will you make money but you will make friends. There are so many ways to start your own business and with it meet people. be confident in yourselves, grow plants, buy bulk lots of seeds for 5 cents each and grow them into $5.00 plants, then sell them at a trash and treasure market. I could go on for ages about ways to make money but especially to meet people. I live in a town of 300 people in rural Victoria, Australia and I have an endless supply of friends Say no to Drugs as it always ends up in despair. Love yourself first, all else follows. Many best wishes to you all. Paul. ratcat17@hotmail.com
February 16, 2007 at 6:57 am
Sorry guys I didnt tell you about my current circumstances. I,m with a fabulous woman. I`ve never been married and we have two great kids, (not mine) I would never get married because I believe that its an old tradition that somehow lingers. I believe that if you meet your soulmate, why not exchange vows of tolerance but agreeing to find different paths if you both fall out of love. After all, that`s what divorce is all about, one or the other has fallen out of love but wont admit it. Agree on taking only what you brought with you into the relationship. If you bought things together sell them or one or other partner must pay half the value of the item to the other partner. If you fal in love, wait five years before you live together. I`m serious, If you still love each other after five years you will tolerate living in thje same house as each other. If you get married straight away then buy a house, you will have all the pressure of a mortgage and you will have to get used to your partners little quirks so in two out of three cases you will seperate. Some of you have partners or are already married so I should say this. Take time out for yourself and seek external pleasures from your partner. He/she will listen attentively to what you have been doing and in most cases you will find it helps your relationship. Paul.
February 17, 2007 at 1:51 pm
Hello everyone. I found this site while performing a web search on the phrase, “have no friends.” This Internet never ceases to amaze me with all the information you can find. I am in my 40’s and sometimes still wonder why I don’t really bond with people. I’ve been around people all my life–in school, church, work, and beyond; but yet still feel an unusual sense of isolation. Like all of you, I’m very nice and have even been told I’m very personable. I try to live by Christian principles and treat people with respect and kindess; but it seems the only time I get a phone call or e-mail from “friends” (I’d rather call them “acquaintances” or “associates”) is when there is a need or a service to be rendered. Otherwise, it’s as though you never come to mind and they never think to call you until then. You begin feeling like a commodity or a “used” item, rather than a true friend.
It’s fact that everyone does not “click” or “connect” with everyone else because of personality or temperment differences, or perhaps because of beliefs, income brackets, ethnicity, or whatever.
The Proverbs in the Bible says something like, “In order to have friends, you must first show yourself friendly.” I always try to practice showing myself friendly, even if it doesn’t yield any true friendships. I won’t grow angry or bitter because of not having a real circle of friends. Even as I type this, emotionally I’m starting to feel better than I have felt in weeks. I sometimes become down about not having friends to go see a movie or go sightseeing with, but I’m thankfue that it’s not to the point I can’t function in my daily life. Sometimes, it’s just “life.” That’s all it is. People just choose to associate with whomever they feel comfortable with. Other times, life is just so hectic and busy, and to widen the circle of friends for some people would be adding on to their already crowded life schedule. The truth is, TRUE friendships take time and work, and most aren’t willing to give either, or so it seems.
But in the midst of it all, I know I have a faithful friend who promises he will never leave or forsake me, and that is the Lord Jesus Christ, for he told me in the Bible, “Lo, I am with you always, even until the end of the world.” Blessings and peace of mind and heart to all of you!
February 18, 2007 at 6:58 am
I have no friends or family and never have. I don’t want to depress anyone more than they are already but I was never really able to make friends and as I have got older (in my 50’s now) it hasn’t changed.
As an atheist I have to be careful whenever I speak to people because where I live it seems every other person went to the catholic school and I have found that hostility towards atheists has grown considerably since I was young.
I feel being alone all the time – except for my dog – I am going a but nuts, I talk to myself constantly, by nature I am quite outgoing and like to talk, so as I have no-one to talk to I invent conversations with myself. I wish I could control it.
I think I used to be normal but now I suspect I look and act a bit odd so my chances of anyone wanting to hang out with me are even less than before.
If I was a man I am sure I would visit hookers as even that company would be better than nothing but there is nothing available to women so each day is an endurance test to cope with alone.
February 18, 2007 at 10:17 am
I understand completely. I think the problem is that we try to please others instead of pleasing ourselves. People are drawn towads strength. Have beliefs and strong opinions, and stick by them (without bending them to seem polite)!! And if you seem out of place where you live then move! (It’s what i did.) We have one life to live.
February 19, 2007 at 11:51 am
Im the Same 18, when i left school no one contacted me only 2 ppl oonce and nothing since, ive always had a group of mates and 1 best friend till year 11 but i was never invited out to partys sleepovers and clubs, pubs, cinemas, shopping general things. i wasnt invited out for new years i did nothing for my birthday i never have done anyhhting with friends as no ones cared. iv had a few boyfriends nothing long term as im shy, my confidence is terrible now, i was bulied by popular girls for stupid reasons, im not ugly or anyhting but i dnt no what to do i havent been out in over a year to parts or an social gathering, i have noone to talk 2 on msn, no neighbours or old childhood friends. my family tell me to go out and get friends vbut i dnt no how, im too shy constantly think bout how do i look bet they think im ugly, and feeling completly uncomfortable in every way, i hate walking past people in the street, i dnt no where to look, id love to have atleast 1 person who cared for me, i do the same thing day in day out wich involved no contact with people or friends type situation. i just want to cry.
February 20, 2007 at 11:25 pm
I am 16 years old. I’m a Junior in highschool and will be starting on the football team next year. Yet, I still have no friends. In school I probably appear to be one of the popular kids, because I talk to everyone and hang out with the “popular people.” But, nobody invites me to do anything outside of school. In Illinois I had many friends, I basically lived at their house. But after my freshman year, we moved to Texas and at first, finding friends was easy. For about the first 2 months of school, all I did was go out with friends(mainly to smoke…)but when my parents found out and grounded me, everything seemed to fall apart. Even after I was off of punishment nobody invited me to do anything outside of school. I went through my whole sophomore at home, doing whatever, but never with friends. And so far, my Junior year is the exact same. I’m hoping that when I get my license things will change, but my parents seem reluctant to take me to get it. I don’t know what to do I’m just glad I found this site so that I may have people to talk to. Maybe I can find someone out there like me, and we can hang out.
February 21, 2007 at 12:23 pm
I am 41 and feel so lonely. I have a dysfunctional family who cause nothing but heartache and people around me take me for granted. I do things for others, show concern and help them in times of need, bit it seems to be a one way street. People are very selfish and self absorbed. I have a good husband and lovely boy of 8 but I sometimes feel so worthless.
Take heart all you lonely ones out there, the world does not deserve you.
February 21, 2007 at 2:18 pm
I’m 22 and am currently in my final year of college @ a Big Ten school. In high school I was voted most friendliest, was on the prom/homecoming court, and felt like i had a billion friends. After high school ended, i held on to a core group of 4-5 friends, and we sort of drifted away from the rest of my high school social network. This had a lot to do with weed, as we smoked up nearly every day. I came to college and started dating a girl from my high school who went to the same college. I never developed any friendships with ppl at my university. I would go out semi-often, and hang out with my g/f’s friends, or my roommates friends, but never had any friends of my own. No one to call up and just hang out and play some vids or whatnot. If my g/f wants to go hang out with her friends, i’m stuck alone on a fri nite and it’s embarrassing and depressing. I can choose to go hang out with my roommate and his friends, but i always feel like an outsider, so that’s not much better. I don’t understand what happened…it used to be so easy to make new friends. i try not to think about it…i tell myself that i like being alone. the truth hurts, so we lie. :(
February 21, 2007 at 7:10 pm
I am a high school freshman and I have a lot of casual friends, but not one best friend or a certain clique. This makes me anxious and I have had depression for a couple weeks because my close friends from elementary and middle school never hang around with me anymore. I feel hopeless sometimes, and am desperate search for a good group to hang out with. I think I am a great girl, have awesome grades, am nice, funny. So why do I have so few friends? Should I join a sport or club or something. I can’t stand how crowded my high school is and want a best friend. I am really close with my mom and brother, but I want to get closer with people at my school and my own age.
Wow, that felt really good to get all of these feelings out.
February 22, 2007 at 8:22 pm
Actually Raj I have lived in three different countries and over 20 different towns, villages and cites.
Bearing in mind I lives in the same town until I was 25 that’s a lot of moving in 28 years.
Could be that is part of the problem - I never did fit in but now I just don’t belong anywhere.
I have lived in my present country/town for about 18 months, I can’t move at present for various reasons including money and dogs but I don’t expect to be here two years from now.
By the way being alone is a very hard life every day and gets even harder as I get older but moving alone is one of the hardest things I do.
There is going to be a time when I won’t be able to do it alone anymore, I have a constant worry about what would happen if I ever had an accident or needed to go to hospital, who would look after my dogs and how would the bills get paid. I find it best to just get through life one day/hour/minute at a time.
February 22, 2007 at 8:27 pm
PS:
Holding and keeping strong views can be dangerous - wasn’t Madeline Murray O’Hare the ”most hated women in American” and lived with constant death threats and abuse.
She did at least have the support of family, friends, benefactors and an organisation. Being threatened, abused and harassed when you are alone without any support or protection is another story.
Talk is cheap and easy the real world is rather different.
February 24, 2007 at 3:19 am
My entry will definitely be the longest, though not necessarily the most tragic or enthralling.
I’m so surprised this latest comment was made so recently. Usually when I stumble upon and read “confessional” entries on sites like these, whether they are meant for confessional entries or not, they are years old and I wonder what’s happened to the people since. This is odd.
Reading through all of these has made me cry several times, but I guess it’s good to cry over someone other than myself once in a while. I can relate to a few of you, though most seem to have it much harder. I never used to think people could just *not have* friends, but there are so many of us, aren’t there? No one should have to be lonely like this.
I’m a junior in high school and I have no friends. I had friends my freshman year, a small and fairly tight group; we met in middle school and became friends out of a common shyness. We eventually became more confident around eachother. The relationships were not ever extraordinarily supportive or sentimental, but now I realize how much having friends affects your confidence, and your enjoyment of life in general.
I moved away after my freshman year. It’s a common teenage problem, but I seem to be dealing with it quite poorly. Sometime during the summer (when I moved), I broke off contact with all of them. I didn’t feel any need to chat idley with them. A number of them made calls (multiple by each) and left messages, but I never called back. I have a terrible fear of the phone, and any other sort of one-on-one conversation where escape is difficult and the pressure is on me to be witty and interesting. A few also tried to contact me over the internet. I’ve gone out of my way to avoid them. I’m convinced now I don’t miss them, as people, at all. I felt guilty for neglecting them at first, but I know now they were only contacting me out of boredom. After reflecting upon what our friendship was like, I realized that the only thing that held us together was our crude sense of humor. We harrassed people and did stupid things and broke minor rules together, like a group of immature guys would.
I only miss the abstract notion of friendship: being physically WITH someone, having a group to just be AROUND and to make me feel like I have an identity. I feel like a terrible person for not genuinely missing them, and I feel even worse for missing such empty relationships, which I was obviously only interested in for my own enterainment and self-confidence purposes. Maybe I’m too emotionally undeveloped for real friendship? Are some people just not “wired” properly, to be able to connect with others as individuals? Besides autistic kids. I don’t think I’m autistic. I want to like someone but I just don’t.
I don’t even have a reason to go to school anymore. My grades are shit because I lack any sort of motivation beyond not wanting to be yelled at. It seems pointless to strive for a well-paying career and successful future, as I doubt I will be happy regardless of what I accomplish. I have always considered personal relationships the most important things in life, but I realize now I have never really had any meaningful ones.
When I registered for my new school, my counselor told me that I would most definitely begin making friends in a matter of weeks. I know school counselors are paid to say things like that, but thinking about it just rubs in the fact that it’s been about two years and I still have no one. I accidentally convinced a certain religious girl, or she convinced herself, that we were good friends, but luckily it was broken off before it went on too long. I’m quite sure she was only trying to convert me, but I feel bad for leading her on anyway. I’m afraid to try and make friends now, because I will be stuck hanging out with and being pleasant to people I don’t like. It’s hard for me to outright tell someone I dislike them, but not saying so is basically lying. It’s such a dilemma.
Like Aaron, for the past two years or so of no real friendship I have often talked to a certain someone online who lives on the other side of the earth. I’d given up on “internet people” outside of him. I guess I would have considered him a friend at some point, but for the majority of our knowing eachother he has repeatedly hurt my feelings, and probably I, his. It’s like some kind of emotionally abusive marriage. I have clinged to him because I have needed him, and I could usually convince myself he cared about me up until now. He doesn’t display much interest in my problems, as petty as they are, and it hurts. He thinks I’m a stupid kid. And I don’t have enough energy to try and entertain him. He has his own shit to deal with, anyway. I worry about him all the time and I still feel like I love him. We’re just “drifting apart”, mostly my fault. It’s quite painful. I’ve been able to cope with being lonely in the real world, to some extent, with him. Now I’m just falling apart. When you don’t even have online friends you’re just utterly, utterly alone.
February 24, 2007 at 6:44 am
im 18 it was my birthday the other day and i did nothing but have dinner with my parents (not a word said) i had good friends in high school but lost all contact when it finished. i did have another group of friends a few years older than me but they worked all week and when the weekend came around they’ed never call me. i havent had a single friend for a year ive become affraid of talking to people and affraid of looking at people in the eyes, ive had one girlfriend. when i do meet people at work and stuff i fell like they arnt interested in the conversation so relationships are never formed i am very nice to and i hate how nice people never have and friends and the wankers and jerks all ways have a hot girlfriend and a big group of mates. it kills me
February 24, 2007 at 12:00 pm
I have no friends, i like to keep myself to myself, live with my parents and dont work :)
February 24, 2007 at 11:16 pm
I feel terrible and had no idea that so many people felt a lot like I do. I am 22 years old and just graduated college and returned home. It was difficult becuase I met my first and only girlfriend 1 year prior to going away to school. I live in Illinois and my colege was 750 miles away in north dakota. Things went well though becuase I flew home every 3 day weekend, holidays, and summer. College wa so-so. I didnt really make any friends untill my last year which sucked. Then 2 months prior to graduation my girlfriend of over 5 years decides to cheat on me with a guy in a band and then a high school drop out druggie. I garduated school last december and returned home to zero friends since all were up at college. I now have no job or girlfriend either. My days now consist of surfing the net and watching tv. It so boring and depressing. Plus it hurts so bad thinking about my ex on top of that. I was planning on graduating and comming home to ask and her to marry me. Like many, I have always been very shy and had trouble making friends. I used to be much worse and have improved immensly, but still I have no socail life or social support. Since all of us on here have so much in common, why dont we talk to each other for support. My yahoo and aim id is brandon198406, feel free to message me anytime. I know what its like to struggle being shy and not having friends to help support you.
February 25, 2007 at 12:18 am
Nice to know there are other people out there who have similar problems and are willing to share them. I used to feel like I was a useless, unwanted anomaly, and I blamed myself for it. Sometimes I still do.
I’m a college frosh, and since middle school I don’t think I’ve had any close friends, just casual ones. Moving to a different city for high school probably didn’t help. It really sucks to not even have a single person to hang out with on a regular basis, and not really understand why that is. Sometimes I just feel this deep, desperate desire to pour my heart out to someone, which I’m sure you can all relate to. And when I find that there’s no one, I want to cry.
I considered committing suicide in high school, but I felt that would be letting my mom down a bit. So I’ve always tried to distract myself, or find things to concentrate on - school, mostly. Don’t know how the rest of you deal. I guess making posts like these is sorta therapeutic.
February 25, 2007 at 4:59 pm
Isn’t it funny how we all feel so alone, not having any friends. But yet it is very clear we are not alone at all, there are tons of people just like us.
I am 24 and happily married - but have no friends outside of my husband, who is my world.
Sometimes I feel like I have forgotten how to be friends with anyone. I have a great personality & am very friendly, but I have a hard time getting close to people or letting people get close to me.
I work with some great people & consider them aquanitences - but no more. I dont talk with any of them outside of work.
How can we better connect with each other? Where does everyone live? Anyone got a myspace?
I live in Arizona, USA
I do have a myspace - http://www.myspace.com/jenaust
It is set to private, but feel free to message me and add me to your friends list.
February 25, 2007 at 6:52 pm
I’m 25 and I don’t really have friends either. I’ve tried to join clubs, and organizations to meet people. It just seems like people are so busy. Nobody has time to catch a movie, or go for coffee. So much of what you all are say sounds similar to what I feel, and am going through.
February 25, 2007 at 9:33 pm
Hey I am 19 (20 in 14 days) and I have no friends. I am going to spend yet another year by myself. If any of you have any suggestions that would be great. According to my bebo page, I have 149 friends but they are nothing but acquaintances. I had no friends in junior school but in secondary school I always had close friends who I could tell everything to. They were a shoulder to cry on. But when I make friends I totally rely on that person for everything, which isn’t right at all. I had a best friend for 8 years and a boyfriend for 3 years of that and all of a sudden I had no-one. Neither of the 3 of us talk anymore and we haven’t for the last year.
Just as those friendships were ending I met this girl I work with, she is lovely. We grew friends really quickly. We did everything together. But one day a new girl started in the job and I feel she has stolen my best friend. I only see her once a week now; we don’t go out driving or drinking anymore. People in college think I am really popular because I talk to everyone. I float around the groups but I have no real close bond with anyone. Even though I talk to all these people in college when it comes to going out at the weekend not one person seems to invite me. I am a tad bit loud and love attention but that is only because I don’t get it anywhere else. I have a close bond with my parents and sisters but I need a person or group of friends who I can talk to, ring during the night if something is wrong.
I am nice to everyone, I loan people money, am always a shoulder to cry on and I am there for all my “friends”. But none of them are there for me when I need them. I think one of the reasons I don’t have any friends is because I tried to kill myself 2 years ago and when I get drunk I tell new people I meet this story. This stops them becoming my friend I think I don’t know though.
How are there so many of us out there that feel like this? I thought I was the only one. We need to form a group in our own country for people like us who need someone to talk to. We must do something. With so many people on the world no-one should be lonely. Thanks for taking time to read my life x
February 25, 2007 at 11:35 pm
I’m glad that i found all of you and i know exactly what some of you are going through.
I am 23 years old and i havent had any friends outside my family. I’ve been going to a jr. college for about 2 years now, but im too shy to talk to anyone. I never know what to say, and if i do say something i feel akward. I don’t know what else to say, but i feel hopeless.
February 26, 2007 at 8:12 am
If you want to hear the bitchiest whining ever, read on.
I’m just another quarterlife loser kid out of college back home to live with parents, with no job, no friends, and no support network, aside from ol’ google. Lately I realize that my entire existence has been a downward spiral ever since I was born. Everything I tell you is the truth.
Ever since I was a little kid, I was a sore loser, and a lone wolf. For recess I walked in circles alone with my head lowered to the ground– literally. The insects were my companions then. In high school, I hung out in the library alone in the back, so I could carve bad words into a desk. Right now, I’d really like to make friends online, just any old platonic companion, but I can’t seem to even figure that out. I’ve tried yahoo chatrooms– people there just plain scare me. They are no different from normal people- they have their own world going on, and they leave outsiders in the dust. Not like I have anything in common with anybody in the entire world.
In college I made no friends. Tried the fencing team, anime clubs. No one liked me. And I was a really bad fencer anyway. I lost to a 4 foot tall fat Hawaiian girl at a novice tournament. And then I had a nervous breakdown, and completely embarrassed myself. Everyone laughed at me. Anyway, I’m not surprised no one likes me because I have a creepy stalker vibe that I can’t seem to wear off. And I’m so poor a thespian that the one time I tried acting preppy creeped people out even more.
I believe I am the way I am, because I DO in fact fear people deeply. I always think that people are out to judge me, and I don’t want to expose how big of a loser I am to anybody at all, and that’s why I barely do anything with other people. My only support network are my parents. Though I love them deeply, my parents rub in my loser status constantly and still treat me like a kid. I have to thoroughly explain what I am doing whenever I go out, they tell me when to go to bed, they make me exercise, I have to “wear a jacket when it’s cold,” a hat when it’s sunny, and they tell me when to brush my teeth still. It’s ridiculous.
Job-wise, being unemployed for nine months can really wear out your self-esteem and social skills. Just ordering a pizza ON THE PHONE makes me sweaty nervous. Despite this I always try hard at everything I do, I want the respect of other people deeply. I that’s why I studied aerospace engineering, which is a very difficult major. I went into it with not much science talent, or pure curiosity in the first place. I gave it my all just to get by with C’s, but I graduated with NO JOB PROSPECTS at all. Not even temp agencies want to interview me. In fact, the entire time I have been unemployed I haven’t even gotten ONE in-person interview. NOT EVEN ONE. And since I’ve never held any job experience or social skills of any kind I can’t even get a job at Borders. I am more useless than a pet rock.
I am in no way hedonistic at all. I adopt a life of extreme temperance. I don’t smoke, I don’t drink, I don’t do drugs, and I am a vegetarian. I barely spend money. I always try to be helpful to anyone I come across. I spend my free time perfecting my drawing skills, and piano playing, but in truth I know I’m very poor at these things. My parents and other family members share the same opinion. I just completely suck.
If you haven’t figured this out already I am also a virgin to the extreme. Never had a girl, never been kissed, never held hands with a lady. The ensuing sexual/romantic frustration has completely warped how I perceive women in a negative way that is too depressing to dwell on. I don’t look women in the eyes even. I am literally writing a manifesto- lets just say it’s the antithesis of the SCUM Manifesto. I think about my small penis size a lot, and I draw hentai of Gadget to solve my sexual problems (as my parents filter porn out of our internet).
I must be masochistic, because for every situation I must explore its negative connotations to the extreme. I constantly think of lazy yuppie Harvard communications grads with six-packs F***ing “babes” atop a high rise penthouse speaking fluent Urdu. I do this most often when I am awake, and cannot get out of bed. I usually cannot get out of bed until I need to pee which could take hours of not doing anything. Though many of you may be depressed at not having friends, at least you have a shred of respect for yourself in not being pathetic as I am- a man, perhaps less a man and more a callow toddler, with nothing but spite and this censored internet to vent.
P.S. Did I mention I don’t know how to swim, I still play with action figures, and that dairy products give me horrible gas?
February 27, 2007 at 7:24 pm
I feel the same way Michael! I never know what to say to people and I feel akward when I do say somthing. I moved around a lot before college so i never made any closer long term friends. I try to make friends but I dunno. I guess im to ugly or somthing who knows. i use to be real depressed but now i am like who cares atleast i can get through college w/ out distractions….I really stay to busy with school to even have a social life. So i dont care any more
February 28, 2007 at 10:38 am
Hi im 16 and anorexic. this is probably why ppl at school think im a weirdo or that im a freak .
Im nice, and cheery, talkative, sociable, gets along well etc. the usual. But i just can’t ge tover not having any friends.
I have maybe 1 or 2 friends. but i dont know if i can consider them best friends, friends or just school mates.
it hurts not having any friends and even my family doesnt seem to understand that.
I have almost given up on making friends now because all that happens is a brief chat and nothing else.
Im so envious of my brother because he seems to get evrything i dont. friends, best friends, suol mates, scessful jobs. etc…
I have always had the raw end of the stick and still do.
I hurts so much not being able to have friends. I try not to think but its make sit worse. even staying at home with my parents feels so depressing and boring.
I want to get out, and have fun, party, go out, enjoy what life has to offer but i cant. because i have no one to be with me.
On days i feel like this i just cant be happy and that brings ppl down to my level making ppl avoid me.
Sometimes i try to kill myself on a usual basis but i always end up waking up in hospital or getting caught.
I just cry because sometimes thats all i feel like doing.
I dont want to be a loner, i dont want to be alone and worst of all i dont want to become a hermit when i grow up.
Im so lonely.
February 28, 2007 at 7:49 pm
I used to have friends in high school, but not anymore. I try to be friendly towards people, but I’m very quiet. I’m awkward and not very talkative around people that I don’t know. I never know what to say to people and when I do talk, I usually end up feeling like I’ve said something stupid. I have no one to go to movies or concerts with. Most of the time, I don’t let it bother me. But sometimes I just feel so lonely that I cry.
March 1, 2007 at 8:56 am
I can really relate to jt… I try to be nice to people, but I just cant think of anything to say to people I don’t know that good, especially when its with several people at once…I just let the others speak, I’m too shy to speak up in a group of more than one person.
I have absolutely no friends:(
I have had a boyfriend for almost 3 months now, and it really bothers me that I cant think of anything to say to his frends or family…I’m so afraid they wont like me because of that, or think I’m weird… what should I do? :(
March 2, 2007 at 8:58 am
All i can say is this its better to be yourself and not conform just to have friends rather than be a fake ass loser who acts, talks, walks like another person and is not their true self. I suffer from a bad case of tinnitus and my ears are pretty jacked up and thats life but I do hit the gym 5 days a week and powerlift.
Remember screw people if they don’t like you, these people are worthless and YOU hold the real value, although im not 100% religious..it does not hurt to go to some kind of gather based on whatever your faith is. You don’t have to be alone, i am alone because I have given up on people and i spend my time either in the gym or wrting marketing materials in a starbucks…FK people if they don’t like you, what makes them so special? Nothing, i have a brother who was spoon fed up da azz and is 100% fake and always lies, the most popular people are the ones that lie the most and have the lowest selfesteem.
I used to be in a relationship with a gal from engalnd and she was so beautiful and we met in college, i neglected all my friends and just had s*x with her for 4 years non stop and then we burned our romance due to too much s*x and that was that.
I have not been with a woman for 7 years and this is all because i became broke and had to live the folks, remember life goes on.
my point of the girlfriend rant was that she was a perfect 10 in beauty but also a perfect 10 in shallowness and lack of selfesteem…she always had to choose friends that were either fatter, uglier or not as smart.
we all have lots of problems, all people do, but just remember that having no friends is ok compared to being homeless and having no friends, no food and no clothing in a cold winter night.
My tinnitus has ruined my life but i have got to the point where i say fk it, even if i go deaf i will not be 100% controlled.
You can go after your dreams, fk people if they don’t like you, you don’t need fake azz people that pretend..
ps- im moving out of my folks home soon and i need to catchup on my 7 years of no s*x…..ill be OK and you can too…..be proud my friends and you will be ok
ok,,,im done :)
March 2, 2007 at 11:37 pm
Hi Everyone, I started this blog http://nofriendweb.blogspot.com/
I thought maybe we could all keep in touch this way. I’m not always the best at updating my blog (s)(’cause I have such a busy social life. :) )
March 3, 2007 at 7:00 pm
Hi - It is somewhat strange that most of us are 20 something females! What is going on here?!
I always had lots of friends and never was lonely growing up, I always had a “best friend”! Starting about 7th grade, I started partying, and getting into trouble..so obviously, I was not the Happiest kid! I was abused by an ex-stepfather for many years which I believe has a lot to do with why I was troubled.. Anyway, I did a lot of partying up until 21 - when I found out I was pregnant - It completely turned my life around! All of my friends and my “best friends” were into partying still, and that was all that I really knew, being that I started so young! So, to say the least - they still party and we don’t have much in common anymore.
I have always had a job since 14, so working and supporting my beautiful daughter are the things I put the most effort into.
I am happy with the way things have turned around, I think I am doing great career wise for my age, having not gone to college especially. And I believe I am a good mother . I also havce a live-in bf of almost three years, we are very happy and in love - although tthe problem is that he works A LOT and I am ALONE w/ my daughter constantly, unless I am at work, I work 1st shift & he is working 2nd shift.
I find it very hard to make new friends…it seems people just really arent all that interested.. I am very friendly, very honest, and I am not too quiet or shy, I am attractive and into fashion.
I dont think I have much in common w/ anyone - being my past, and other mommys, etc… It is just hard to meet new people when you are either at work or stuck at home with a kid!!
I dont see myself becoming close to anyone on the job. I get along with mostly everyone.
I go to my sister’s house nearly every Friday and our children play together - she always has friends over, and I don’t really feel that I fit in w/ most of them, they are all younger, and don’t care about money or career goals, etc.
I am glad to see that I am not the only one that feels this way, and I hope we can all make new friends soon!
Thanks
March 3, 2007 at 11:17 pm
I am 28 yrs old and just married my boyfriend of 8 years. I have never had no more than 1-2 close friends but seems like the older I get the harder is to make friends. The friends I had in highschool and in college do not return my calls. I call them every once in a while to check on them but they never call me. I feel left out in every social event that I attend rather it be at work or at family functions. I sometimes feel that I am not close to anyone anymore. My phone never rings and nobody wants to be around me. Sometimes I feel like my husband avoids being around me. Even my kids say that I am boring. I dont know what happened.
March 4, 2007 at 1:57 pm
I have no friends. I’m a very nice person as everyone who’s ever met me says but none of them want to become close friends. I’ve had a Few in the past but in every close friendship I was taken advantage of and, because I’m so passive they got away with horrendous actions and statements. And i take it because I get tired of being alone. But eventually I can’t and I’ll get rather depressed and suicidal because of the rudeness of people around me or the fact that there Are no people around. I would give anything I thik to just have someone to confide in but I feel thats never gonna happen for me. I’m a uh, modern time spinster who will end up living alone with all my pets. Anyway it seems liek alot of us feel alone and from what I’ve read a lot of you seem to be really nice people that aren’t appreciated. I’m sorry for that because I go through it too. Anyway My aol messenger is IvyStephWhite, and yahoo is quietandproud if anyone wants or needs someone to talk to.
March 4, 2007 at 11:02 pm
I read this web page with great interest; and I have strong statements to make, but with facts to back them up. This will help you better understand life. Myself, I have had many friends over the years who have come and gone. I have come to the conclusion that, because everyone has their own problems, people are too drowned in their own problems and in SELF interest such that any friends who do not advance their cause is not worthy of their time. this is d truth. currently, i have no close friends and i am happy that way. i am not cynical - wen friends get too close, jealousy, betrayal and backstabbing become almost inevitable. some facts:
1. Jesus Christ is the one and only through Friend, Friend to everyone, all you need to do is to believe by faith. Only Him can bring REAL human friends across your path. Just try what I have just said! Invite Him to your life.
2. Nobody really cares about your success as much as you do. Most of your “friends” would secretly wish to see you fail.
3. Friends come and go - you must keep making new friends; but in any case, you have got to realize that there is a limit to what your friends can do for u and vice versa.
Personally, i would rather die a loner than beg for friends.
need any assistance from me, drop me a line
March 4, 2007 at 11:20 pm
I’m 20, male, and have no real friends. Dozens of people, most of whom I’ve met on the internet, claim to be my friends but have no interest in spending time with me in reality, even though we have in the past. I try hard to be a nice guy, help people and be likeable, but still find it impossible to make friends. I think to make friends you have to feel good about yourself. If you can’t be your own friend, then nobody else will either. Having been chronically depressed from an early age, I hate myself with a vigor that has led me, in the past, to injure myself and amputate my fingers. With a background like this it’s unlikely I’ll ever have any real friends, and I’m pretty much resigned to my fate. Some people just aren’t supposed to have friends. Suicide is the socially responsible thing to do in this situation. But since nobody likes you anyway, why kill yourself to make them happy?
March 6, 2007 at 1:07 am
I can definately relate to a bunch of you..I personally had a ton of friends in high school and dated lots of girls..Right before I was suppose to graduate my buddy did some stupid shit which got us both arrested and changed my life forever…A couple of my other friends got lost in meth and locked up themselves…my gf at the time was really messed up and vented all her BS on me which eventually destroyed our relationship… I made it into college and thought it would be an awesome chance to start over and it was the first year in the dorms meeting a ton of people…we partied alot and had good times…the second year (right now) shit hit the fan..the funny party guy who got along with eveyone turned into the drunk asshole who starts and talk shit….I’ve lost a ton of friends by being an idiot when im drunk…prob is now I can’t stop drinking becuase thats the only thing that takes the edge off of reality..so now I’m stuck without any friends..everyone already has all their clicks and it’s really hard to be HAPPY and OUTGOING when your so depressed and pissed off…
Nobody wants to be friends with people who are depressed and have issues. So one day I just decided to say fuck the world and not give a shit anymore. I used to care so much about what people think of me, how i looked/dressed all the time, sitting next to someone I know in class, blah blah…now I could a give a damn about society and how unfair it is…I mean I have a roomie who smokes weed all day and is flunking out of school and he has managed to connect with tons of people (other stoners of course but still!)
I definately agree that going to the gym helps! It allows you to get all that extra energy out and have some human interaction. I just can’t wait until I’m 21 and I can go to the bars and find some chick fucked up like me :)
March 6, 2007 at 1:43 am
I’m 20, female, and tell myself I love solitude.
Try to believe its better without friends.. been hiding away for like 6 years.
I found pot when I was 14.. it was then that I realised I dislike myself. I stopped going to school.. and staying at home smoking pot was my life now.
By the time I was 15 I was addicted to pot and had already had my arm stitched up.. and i didnt even cut myself for attention, because i knew id only be called an idiot. I seriously freaked myself out.. how could i do this to myself?
When I was 17 my clothes got darker and so did my mind. The only good thing that year (2004) is that I stopped smoking pot.
Depression got worse.. 2004-2005.
I could only hide in the dark for so long.. the year is 2006 and I still wasnt really going out of the house.. but i was kinda positive and started to look at myself more - I wanted to change and do something.. ya know, be happy.
Sadly i still didnt go out much and That state of mind lasted for like 6 months.
I got glasses in december 06 (im short sighted) I see everything clearer.. and Im getting sick of being alone and hiding.
I HAVE BEEN DEAD FOR TOO LONG.
I currently smoke a little bit of pot.. and im bored - I have no confidence .
Ive never had a job.. i know i have to make a change right now. where do i start..I cant hide anymore. Im sick of being weak. but i know i am the only one that can help myself.. i dont know where to start.
I currently go to a councilling once a month but its hard to talk about myself. I wanna learn to love mysellf.. I know once I do I can start to love others.
If you have any advice: frozenqueen05@gmail.com
March 6, 2007 at 1:04 pm
Ditto to all. I am 27, married, 2 kids, and lonely. My life is fulfilling except there is one empty place and that is where I wish I had a best friend. Someone to talk to and hang out with. Someone that would call me first with a problem or when they are happy. I dress mainstream, I used to be told I am attractive in my dating years, I, like all of you, always try to be as nice as can be and never offensive. I think that is one thing we all have in common and maybe that is our problem somehow, whether or not that makes sense. I don’t really think it does. Well, when I was young I decided I wanted to be the ‘down to earth, nice’ type of person and so that is who I am today. Now I wish I would have decided to be funny or more outgoing. I think having no friends also can make people act sorta wierd in social situations. I know I have said some things I wish I didn’t. It further isolates us. My 2 boys love me now, but at this rate, I cannot help but think that they, like everone else, will grow up and grow further away from me and that kills me. This sucks.
March 7, 2007 at 2:30 am
I can realte to almost everyone of you. I am 19 and am in college and completely alone, no friends, no girlfriend, no life for that matter all I do is sit in my dorm room and either look out the window at people walking by or go for a jog through the campus. I have a VERY hard time talking to people and only had 2 friends through high school that i treated with the best respect only to find out that the one that was supposed to room with me left me for a fraternity 1 week before school started (have not talked to him since) and the other got involved in drugs and ditched me for his drug buddies (have not even seen him in a year now). I am not suicidal or a weirdo just exteremly depressed because i see happy personable people around every corner while i walk by myself in a state of deppersion that is slowly turing into anger. I wanted to bring my dog from my house to live in my room but found out that animals are not allowed in on-campus housing. The only person left that i feel freindship in is my brother, so i travel home every weekend after my classes are over to see him which sadly enough even makes me feel more depressed because i feel like a complete loser going home while other kids are talking about the big bash they are going to that night. I gives me comfort to see that other people have the same feelings as i do, hopefully both mine and eveybody else’s life’s will become much happier through time, or at least we will be able to accept what we are more easily. Thanks for reading this if you did.
March 7, 2007 at 11:06 pm
Reading these posting in tears…. I can relate to some of what all of you have said. I am so sick of my situation. I feel as though I always, almost get to a certain point in my life and then my social issues hinder me from reaching my full potential. Do I like it? NO!! But I feel as though I am trapped and I can’t seem to find my way out of this slump. I am always portrayed as being quiet, but I really would like to be outgoing. This is the only place where I can vent and really and express my true feelings. I refuse to believe I have some type of social disorder…but if not what is it.? I am a Christian and I hope and pray that we all can find peace with in ourselves and our lives. Thank you for reading. I feel better now:)
March 8, 2007 at 2:07 am
Sorry meant to put this in my first post. If anyone wants to drop me an e-mail it is toolfanaticm@aol.com (yes, i am a very huge Tool fan). I dont do facebook or any of that kind of crap because i dont want to make myself feel any more of a loser than i already am when i look at my friends list and see 0.
March 9, 2007 at 12:36 am
I am 19yrs old and i feel da same way. I feel incredibly lonely, with low self esteem, and i have been suffering from cynic deppression for 2 yrs now ever since i left high school. It was so different back in high school i used to have tonnes of friends, i was never left out and i felt really good.Things have changed after high school. Basically these days i only keep in touch wit 3 of my friends back from high school. But da fact dat i have very little friends makes me incredibly lonely and deppressed.It sux to be deppressed when ur a teenager, it supposed to be da best days of ur life bein a teen and being deppressed in my age is no good.I cant imagine wat it would be like though in 10 yrs from now when im 30yrs old, runnin my own business and a family to take care off. I feel lonely especially on the weekends when it seems everyone is partying and having a good time when im at home watching da whole Rocky- Rocky 5 all over again.
Sometimes i can be out goin but i jst say so many stupid things dat ppl jst get bored or get annoyed of me. I struggle to maintain a lasting friendship for more dan a year. I have never been kissed, let alone having a girlfriend in my life. I am not dat bad looking but im jst not good wit girls. Deppression and loneliness is da worst feeling of all. Deppression is getting to serious dat its stopping me from doing da things dat i want and need to do in life. Deppression makes me take days off from work or uni, from seeing my friends i jst feel so numb. But its not only dat i feel lonely, life is jst so overwhelming for me. It gives me da feeling dat every1 is better dan me and it makes me feel worthless and useless.
I need help guys ive spent two yrs seeing my concillor but nothing seems to work, i dont know guys how to snap out from my deppression. Im jst scared dat as days go by im running out of time to get rid of deppression and soon i would start running out of things to do in life. Im scared about da future. I also feel lonely because im a foreigner living in australia. I jst feel different to all australians, no one seems to understand me.
I need help!!!!!
March 9, 2007 at 1:24 am
Hey Heggy Happy 20th Birthday mate!!!!
March 9, 2007 at 1:32 am
feel free guys to send me an email on kingofthejungle87@hotmail.com
March 9, 2007 at 9:53 am
my life is fucket up i dont have no friends my family dont care i wish life was fun but i thank these is my fate i dont no how too act around people im alone 100% of the time im 18 i youst to have friends but thay left one by one im at the start of my life with no body so how its goin too end
March 9, 2007 at 11:01 am
Joseph keep focusing on what you want, a family and your own business. Don’t lose sight of that and try to stay positive and things will fall into place. We attract what we are and if we can stay positive and keep our heads up and smile even when we are sad and lonely then we can get through the rocky times. At times I have felt so sad that I cried and thought about how if I died nobody would miss me and that my hubby and kids would find someone to replace me and eventually they too would not care(that was the depression talking). I got through that although it could come back. I just keep going and try to stay positive and try to fulfill all the things that I can even if there is something missing. I think someday I will be close to more people but right now I will just worry about the things that I can change and do for myself.
March 9, 2007 at 10:45 pm
Life becomes pointless without friends. I am 19 years old, these are supposeed to be the best years of my life - my youth. I’m drifting like a boat without a sail. Every day is a neverending blur. I don’t care about anything anymore. I lost all of my friends around 7 months ago - I went though an extremely severe bout of depression / anorexia. All of my ‘friends’ left me. Now i’m wandering aimlessly through life. I don’t know what I like/ dislike. I am only taking one course in school and I don’t work. So the rest of the time I am alone in my large empty house, willing away the endless hours, the realization that my youth is endlessly ticking away haunting me. I just don’t care anymore. What’s the point in trying, nobody wants to be my friend - everyone already has their own friends (who am I anyways). And then when they see me leeching on to them they will ask ‘well where are your friends’ and I will have to admit the horrid, bland truth that I have none and that would be enough to drive most people away.
I don’t know how much longer I can take this. I have done everything to try and make my life interesting: learning a new language, taking music lessons, and nothing works. I lose interest almost instantly. I have been to councilling but nothing works so I end up cutting or drinking. This life is pure hell. The only way I can describe it is like a boat without a sail - you just float wherever and it all looks the same and in the end you give up trying to direct the boat. God help me.
March 10, 2007 at 5:13 pm
I feel so much better after finding this, really. It comforts me to know that i am not alone in my aloneness. I am 23, I work and go to school, and in neither place have I come across anyone to whom I can really relate. Also, I was dumped about 8 months ago by a guy with whom I had a 4 year relationship. Any friends that I’ve had since highschool or from then talked just stop calling, and after a period of unreturned phonecalls, i start wondering what’s wrong with me. I try to follow up, but make sure not to smother anyone. Its weird, I never had this problem before. It gets heavy and I get depressed, even suicidal, and everything just seems to get worse. For the most part, I am positive, and I really care about people, and I just don’t know what to do.
March 10, 2007 at 8:34 pm
It seems that every”friendship” i have always turns out bad…im not a bad person, i know im not, I am 20 yrs old… i listen to peoples problems, i dont argue….i recently lost a friendship for something that i think was so stupid. We both used to hangout alot, laugh about stupid things…i actually thought i found a “best friend” for the first time in my life, but then it all just went downhill…i really dont know exactly what happened, but she probably hates me now…its gotten to the point where i just dont believe in having friendships anymore, especially with females, ive lost that trust. I feel that theyre all just so dramatic, and full of crap…i hate people who have alot of friends, i hate myself for being alone…i dont go out like i used to, my weekends are spent at home or out somewhere with my family…im not saying thats a bad thing, i really do appreciate my family ALOT, i love them, but i do wish i had a friend…someone i can tell secrets to, my problems, make jokes that only we understand…i dont have that, and i think i never will.
March 11, 2007 at 12:14 am
I am 33 yo and have no friends, I met a really great friend but no more, Because I was so use to not having any friends I did not know how to handle the friendship and teh person who was my best friend is no more, I guess that I must resign myself that I will always be alone with no one to do anything with. The worst part is during the holidays and my birthday…no cards or phone calls and by myself, nobody seems to know that I exist. I try to always be nice and outgoing and portray a happy demeanor, but its exhausting because inside I am empty and cold. I am always by myself, no one to see a movie with or go to dinner with, there are so many things that I would like to do but dont as I have nobody to share the experience with. I wish it would change but at this point I guess it wont. It makes life very long and very pointless.
March 11, 2007 at 1:48 am
I’m 16…short for my age….and have no friends. I’ve never had a girlfriend….never had someone to talk to when I was depressed….never had someone to get into trouble with….well, except my brothers :)..but I feel sad. I have low confidence and want to hang out with someone and you know…get a girlfriend but no girl would ever go for me….I’m 4′10 and 16…I’m not a midget but I’m just a late grower….I’ll sprout up soon but it’s just sad. I used to attend regular school….feeling embarraseed and shy because of my height, but now I’m home shooled …..
March 11, 2007 at 7:50 am
It’s early Sunday morning - March 11th - and I’ve got one thing to write to all you really young people out there with no friends: try to figure out how to get some before it’s too late! I’m a 50 year old, self-described “loner” but it’s gotten to the point where when the weekend comes, sometimes I don’t talk to a single human being other than maybe a checker at the grocery store. Seriously! I haven’t been on a date since September 2000, although people at work tell me I’m attractive enough and young-looking for my age - I’ve even had some of those people tell me I’m funny. But outside of ONE best friend (who lives in California and I live in Washington state), and my parents, I really do not have any social contacts.
I think the longer you wait to try and get help/join groups/take classes/whatever, the harder it gets. I have my dogs (thank God), but no friends otherwise.
March 11, 2007 at 9:26 pm
Entering highschool was a lot of fun. I had quite a few friends then, and even though I wasn’t the lady’s man, or the guy who was invited to all the great parties and social events…I was still content and happy with the way my life was. But in the middle of highschool, many of my close friends had somehow drifted away and really didn’t want anything to do with me. I never really talked to too many girls and I have never had a girlfriend.
I am 20 years old now. I have gone through 3 years of literally having nothing to do then the occasional movie or video games. I’m not a bad person, I’m not a bad-looking guy, and I have many interests and hopes. I may not have things great right now. (No job, no friends, no life.) But I still know that things will get better. I’m going to college this year and I hope to meet some people that I can befriend and have a good time with. I also am a christian, and I have faith in God that he will always lead me and bless me. That may sound like craziness to many, but I believe and I feel uplifted by him.
I notice that many people here state how bad things are in their lives. Life can be cruel that is true. I have a cousin who is dying of a rare cancer and probably will not live to see her mid-twenties, but she is still living life to the fullest. She is a beautiful, kind-hearted person who brightens up everybody around her. She is an inspiration.
Loneliness is common. Almost all of us will experience it sometime. It sucks…it really does. But we as North Americans have it good. If you go to some desolate impoverished nation, you see diseased children that have the biggest smiles. They put us to shame. These kids are often orphans, with a bleak future, but they still hope to have a better life.
I’m not a therapist, but I do know that it is important to have hope. No matter what your life throws at you, hope is something you should always try to keep. In my life, I have to forget those people from highschool. forget the fact that I don’t know any girls, and I shouldn’t feel so anguished over my situation. I believe that someday, my life will be awesome, I hope to travel, have a good job, and have a family and good friends.
To all you broken hearts and people who feel like they are living for nothing. Please do not let the sorrow fill your mind to the point where you do not want to go on. Think positive and know that even though you are lonely, you still have much goodness in your life. Also, try to put your trust in God. I’m not trying to convert people here. But believing and trusting in him has changed my mindset on life. My eyes have been opened and no matter how bad things get. I will always know that he is with me and will never leave. Comfort comes from people and fun comes with friends….but true hope and true love comes from God! He has given me hope and strength for me, why would he reject anybody else…Please do not read this thinking that I am some crazy religious fanatic.
I truly feel bad for everyone here and I hope that you will all find happiness somewhere. And I dearly hope that anybody who is suicidal will find comfort. Killing yourself is not the answer.
God Bless…
March 11, 2007 at 10:25 pm
Today I feel bad inside. Sundays are my worst days because I go to church on Sundays and have no friends there. I sit alone and watch other people being so happy and having so much fun. I have been going to this particular church since we moved to our home last July and still have not connected with one other person. I try to talk to people and then the next week it is like they have never even seen me before. What is wrong with me? After church we have famiily functions a lot and that is when I get to watch my mother-in-law talking to my future sister-in-law like she is Oprah. And when it comes to me, of course, I get about 2 sentences said to me. Then my new sister-in-law gets hugs goodbye and I don’t. I am sick to my stomache right now just thinking about my ‘way with people’. Tomorrow will be a better day. Mondays are not as bad as Sundays. Hey Nick, what you wrote is beautiful. I agree with what you said. Thanks.
March 12, 2007 at 1:58 am
hai,i am looking girl friend pl..
March 12, 2007 at 3:49 am
Hi, i’m Alex.Wow! it’s nice to hear out others in their struggle in society. I myself don’t have many friends. Never really had friends expect a couple of meanless friends that i got drunk back w/ in college. But overall my life is prety dull… My social is dependent on my girlfriend. Through my gf i meet people and talk to people. I never develop the skills to talk to people and make friendships. When growing my parents were very strick and isolated me from others;thus, hindering my social developement. Sometimes when i’m alone and my gf is not around i feel like going out, but then again i don’t have any friends, it would be nice to pick up the phone to call a friend and ask him to go to the bar with me..But ehh i guess life needs loners in this world..part of me likes to be alone and part doesn’t like to be alone. The part of me that likes to be a lone soul, likes it b/c i could be indepedent and do my thing w/out having to think about others;hence, less complicated. Don’t know y, but i feel depress, feeling like killing myself at times…but i think to myself what good do i get from killing myself… if i kill myself i would be commiting the ultimate sin, and go striaght to hell. I don’t want to go to hell. Does n e one? i don’t think many do. i just hope god puts a good friend in my path soon.
March 13, 2007 at 6:38 pm
I know how you all feel. I’ve never had any real friends. I was teased at school and have suffered from low self esteem my entire life. I had hoped that uni would bring friendship but it just ruined my self-esteem even more as i struggled through it.
To make matters worse, i went somewhere isolated where there was nothing to do. I wish i’d had the courage at 18 to move far away from home but low self-esteem made it impossible as did family problems. Come summertime all i had was my part time job and i would spend the entire hols in by myself in my isolated town. It didn’t even occur to me that i could go out and try and join a social group.
I’m only just starting to gain my independence but i’m still stuck at home. Hopefully i can find a decent job in the city and move in with some nice people so i can enjoy myself before it is too late. I’ll be 23 soon and feel like i have missed out on my youth because i’ve never had any fun.. Though it’s my own fault for being so weak. I don’t even have anyone to celebrate my birthday with which saddens me. How can people be so cruel to me? I’m not ugly and i’m a nice person.
March 13, 2007 at 11:20 pm
Hello all,
by the way:::Nick your posting was well put and motivating. I think sometimes we tend to forget how bad a situation can be. For me I just have a hard time getting close to anyone. I feel like the only person who I have to vent is my sister and I feel that I put a burden on her with all my problems. For the most part I am happy with my life I just feel detatched and isolated from everybody. At lunch time, at work I sit at my desk and do not talk to anyone. I have tried the breakroom but I feel so awkward. I want friends and a social life outside my sister and my kids but I do not know what to say when I am around people. I need help………………………………maybe I need to take some social classes or something.
March 14, 2007 at 4:54 pm
Hey,
Im in a pretty bad situation, have been for a couple of years. Im 16, soon to be leaving school, and the last 5 years have been so hard. I was bullied for two years, every ‘freind’ i had turned their back on me. I lost every ounce of confidence and i turned from a happy guy to a wreck. I contemplated suicide,,many times but i guess i was scared. I saw a counceller and ended moving schools, and for the last two years ive made a lot of freinds, but im constantly paranoid and worrying that i will be abandoned again. It doesn’t help that my so called best freinds are two faced about me, it hurts so much but I dont have anyone else. So that means i have to be a push over just so i wont be alone. Ive seen guys in my school who dont have anybody and it breaks my heart to see them day in day out, and i just couldn’t bare to go through the same. It seems everyone i trust stabs me in the back, and they act as though im such a bad freind. I never betray them, always help them in bad times..And they say things behind my back and then phone me to go out every night and i dont understand. Ive got 2 months left in school, and i dont want my last memories of school to be on my own. I wont even post my real name on this site thats how bad this paranoia is..
I’m very good at putting up a front, looking happy, but when i come home at night this situation wont leave my mind and i end up sleeping all night, thinking that it would just be easier to kill myself, because the pressure would be lifted. I can relate to a lot of the people on this site and I am happy that I’m not alone, i just think i could use someone to talk to, who have been through similiar things,, because i cant speak to anyone else about it..Im sure i have major depression, and i just cant take it
well this is a long enough post to read so ill wrap it up there
thanks
March 14, 2007 at 4:58 pm
If anyone would like to chat,,contact me @ comewhatevermay@hotmail.co.uk
March 14, 2007 at 4:58 pm
comewhatevermay90@hotmail.co.uk**
March 15, 2007 at 9:55 am
Hello, I am 28 years old and I too have no friends.
At 20 I had my son and all the people who called them selfs my friends vanished. My best friend moved out of town two months later, my other childhood friend became busy working, his childless life parting Nd then he moved out of town , my cousin moved also out of town too. I could not go party like I use to because my day started at 6am to work then school then my son. So I have been stuck with no friends in the same place while everyone moved on with there life. MY sister and brother live a good distance away and too put the icing on top my parents moved also.
I have no friends, at work there no one I would call friend, I feel like have nothing in commen with people, I feel like I am to serious since everyone left…I use to be happy, fun person…..My world is my son and my boyfriend. But because I don’t have any friends I think it puts strain on our relationship. All his friends girlfriends hava a click together, I feel so out of place because I don’t hav eanything in commen with them, I don’t see things the same way as these girls because my lif is work and my son….not them, they have friends and a social life. I have become anti social because I feel like everything that comes out of my mouth is wrong. I am not a bad person, I am not unfriendly but I am sad and have no confidents in myself because of this. I sit down in my neighborhood while my son plays and I am alone while everyone is together. WHen did I become so unpopular and depress? I want friends, I want to have a group of friends to chat with, friends who have the same incommon, have play dates and more, friends to chill with.In my son’s school not even other parents are my friends, I have nothing incommen with them because I am one of the youngest moms who has her son in private school and they live some where else.
So I am damed if I do, Damed if I don’t. My phone does not even ring.
March 15, 2007 at 10:44 am
Hey JC, you seem like a devoted mom and a girlfreind, and i think that if you allow yourself to be able to speak to more people you might find that in fact you do have things in common. You dont need to have a click, you need to feel comfortable about yourself to make freinds. I just hope you find the freinds you deserve and im sure you will.
March 15, 2007 at 2:07 pm
My name isn’t even Lisa. I am paranoid too. I am a big loser because this is like my 4th or 5th time writing here. I just keep coming back to see if there are even more people out there like me. JC, I always feel left out of clicks too. I never fit in any groups. It sucks, but your not the only one.
March 15, 2007 at 3:03 pm
Just because its your 4th time of whatever doesnt make you a loser, your far from it, nobody