We live in an impersonal world. I hear this constantly and wonder exactly what people mean when they say it. Is this a warning, an observation, a criticism, a declaration of failure in their ability to create and maintain relationships?
The world has always been impersonal, it’s just not possible that millions of human beings will relate to one another with familiarity. It’s an impossible scenario.
So why all the focus on how impersonal our lives are lately?
Is it a cry for help, a diagnosis and awareness that something is wrong or could be better?
It’s because we have isolated ourselves, by ourselves.
Impersonal is what YOU make it, it has to do with your interaction and participation with others. You are in control, you are not a victim.
Our access to wealth, communications and easy travel have allowed us to travel and move our residence often and meet thousands of people throughout the world during our lifetime. This was not possible 100 years ago.
We no longer live in Norman Rockwell’s Main street America, in a small town, where we know the neighbors, the teachers, the firemen, clerks and shop owners. We didn’t invest enough time in a safe stable environment in order to learn about others and become secure with ourselves and diversity.
In today’s world it’s so easy to walk away from ideas, behaviours and people who are not like us. We can now live by ourselves, in our own little world, designed by us and just for us. The only problem is, we are social creatures and we do want others in our lives. We have created a dilemma by isolating ourselves.
It’s just common sense that this exposure to so many people we don’t know, and who don’t know us, is bound to create a bit of tension or coldness in our initial contacts. Depending on how you respond and interact with others, these interactions can remain cold and impersonal, or might warm up and become pleasant and more personalized.
Simple acts that allow others to let their guard down are all that’s necessary. A smile, a hello or thank-you, a question or comment that initiates a conversation is sometimes all it takes to break the ice.
Relationships are made and created through trust and time. It’s about giving your time, showing interest, and learning. You cannot expect to become best friends with anyone in a week or month, be realistic. You cannot create a meaningful relationship by watching co-workers or neighbors through your window.
Proof of how easy it is to begin a relationship can be found with the Internet, social networks, chat-rooms, etc. All you have to do is throw out a comment or question and in a matter of minutes be involved in communication with a perfect stranger. Why then the complaints about an impersonal world? What’s different when you are not on-line, and are face to face with another human being?
If you think the world is cold and impersonal, take a look at your actions and behavior and determine if you are actively participating to open the door in your communications and relationships. Does your world revolve around you, your problems and your little internal universe? I’ll bet you think the world is impersonal.
Are you interested in giving, sharing, listening, learning and accepting others and their diversity? I’ll bet you think the world is a pretty fine place to be.
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Lee Iwan Accumulated Experience 
You have some helpful insight and you are right about everything being what you make it. I will consider some of what you said as I go along my days and you have got me thinking!
But I don’t disagree that most facets of our world are structurally impersonal. I’ve tried numerous times to apply for jobs in person as opposed to online and am often turned down, told to go to their website and thats it. Trying to have a conversation with the manager or the person in charge of hiring is either denied to me by the person at the front desk (I am a student so we are talking about jobs in hotels, restaurants, etc) or if I do get the chance to have a word with the manager it’s generally only if it’s over the phone in which case they deny having a real conversation and say “you will be matched based on your online application and we’ll call you”, failing to answer any questions I pose. It then often surprises and saddens me when I see the person they hired the next week is a teenage girl on her phone who obviously doesn’t want to be there and neglects her duties! So yes, the world is often very impersonal. We’re reduced to a number, given automated responses, or ignored. People have seen so much impersonality that it has entered the psychey and tripled itself– those people whose friendliness has been shot down by others are now so afraid to be friendly, fearing their smiles and questions are too prying, or offensive to others. Now I’m just venting!
What we need is revolution of sorts. A small, clandestine one, where people, GOD FORBID, know the people working at their local grocery store and take some time to conversate.
It’s ironic that in such an age of technology, what we lack most in our day to day interactions is communication.
Great article, going to subscribe to your blog.
-Jennifer
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