Comments on: Lonely and have no friends

By: Vedia

Vedia — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 10:21:56 +0000

It’s 5am, and couldn’t sleep because, like you guys, I have no friends. Another “what I believed was real” friendship came to an end yesterday. It was like some sort of TV rerun that I know all too well. I make friends and then before I know it, it’s over. When this happens, I feel so lonely, like there is something seriously wrong with me, that I’m the only person in the world going through this. But, I’m feeling better since I found this site this morning. Like me, you all are going through this too. I’ve cried reading through your posts because I can relate to almost every single person’s post here.

I grew up with a lot of insecurities and coupled with a lack of meaningful friendships, I’m a 30 year old who feels socially crippled. I shy away from social settings, groups, clubs, because I don’t feel comfortable meeting others. I tend to stay home too often and maintain my usual routines (work, chores, watching tv, being on the computer). My husband is at times distant and when I try to talk about my feelings, he usually scoffs at them. So, I become complacent and think this is life–without friends.

I tell myself that friends are overrated especially when it seems like they were nothing more than acquaintances/coworkers. Like I’ve read in some of the previous posts, I’m not into “playing the game” and would rather do nothing than cultivate relationships with others who I don’t care about and who don’t care about me. I wish I could have even one good girlfriend I can laugh with and have fun, a friend I can truly feel comfortable around and be myself.

By: Supaman_18

Supaman_18 — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 15:26:57 +0000

1st of all id just like to say if you listen to my advise u will get further than ignoring it and hoping for an easy answer to yor life problem, cuz i have gone through the same problem. so heres my advise.

i recommend getting involved with ppl. For example iv joined a local youth boxing centre. I work out hard and gain respect and friendships.

try getting fit, you dont have to be buff. but i run evry morningg for about 45 mins, and evry afternoon i either workout or goto my boxing class for about an hour.
it dosnt matter if yor fat. eating healthy, and having an active lifstyle is socially attractive.

People arnt attracted to lazy people. or boring ppl.
And ppl find it hard to give respect to people who r lazy.
Its not hard to find a club or hobby. If you are reading this than u have acssess to the internet and search for yor hobby close to where u live.

Some examples include: Table tennis, Athletics, Surfing, Football, who knows u might like to collect stickers lol maybe thiers a club out there for that. but joinin a club is deffinatly the best way to meet ppl.

So if som1 asks hey supaman_18 how was yor day :P i can say it was tough, i worked out hard at my boxingg gym, i think i pulled one of my leg muscles though from the 5 km run i did this mornin but it was nothing :P how was yor day?

thats alot better than saying u did nothing but goto work.

ill repeat jst incase uv forgotten. if u listen to my advise u will get further than ignoring it and hoping for an easy answer to yor life problem that is quite obviously bothering u.

By: Lem

Lem — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 00:37:03 +0000

Im 39 year old male with no friends or relationships in my life. I still live at home becouse I have nowhere to go. My family questions me becouse Im by myself all the time. The only time I get lucky with a woman is when I pay for it . I dont have a job so I can”t even have co-worker friends Im realy thinking of leaving this world

By: BeFreeEnoughOfThisSh1t

BeFreeEnoughOfThisSh1t — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 03:52:58 +0000

I think i’m too damaged too have any normal human relationships. Too many love rejections, too many betrayals, too many disappointments. I stopped fighting because there is never a reward only pain.

I used to be religious but my experiences made me open my eyes and use my brain. “God” …hahahaha, meaning to our suffering? There isn’t , we live , we suffer (more then others) and then we die (nothingness). Being a fucked up atheist didn’t bring me any joy either, it just made things simpler.

Why stick around to see everyone succeed where you will always fail, especially your siblings. If there was a potion i could take that would kill me instantly i would take it in a heartbeat. NO MORE OF THIS SHIT, I REJECT LIFE, I REJECT BEING HERE, DEATH IS MY ONLY FRIEND AND YET HE DOESNT COME AROUND.

By: philip tamatey

philip tamatey — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 11:54:45 +0000

thank u

By: anon

anon — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 15:47:33 +0000

to those who have had friends in the past - why didn’t you keep in touch with any of your friends from school? And to those who have only 1 or 2 friends - be appreciative because there are some people who have NONE!!!!!

By: kate

kate — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 21:59:00 +0000

I have some friends that I’ve known since kindergarden but now we’re at the end of 11th grade and they all seem to be branching off and finding new friends. I’m way too shy to start up conversations with random people so I’m the only one in my old circle of friends who isn’t moving on. I basically stay home Friday and Saturday nights watching tv or going on the computer. I really miss going to the movies with my friends and having bonfires and talking with them. Now I think there’s something wrong with me because I don’t have anyone to talk to anymore. I’ve also had a serious crush on a kid in my grade for months and he used to talk to me, but I’m such a loser that I choked up and couldn’t think of anything to say when he tried to talk to me. Well, I don’t have to worry about that anymore because he stopped trying. I never go on these sites and talk about my life like some people but I really need to get this stuff out or I’ll explode. I wish I was popular. I wish I had a boyfriend. I wish I could make new friends. I hate high school.

By: The world is our stage

The world is our stage — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 23:50:16 +0000

U guys dont be sad…everything happens for a reason. I know there are times in life when you winder why me, why I, all i ever wanted to be happy. You must look at the positives…evryone has a friend whether you know it or not…im you guys friend. I know how it feels to be scared of being alone…and its natural. No one wants to be alone and everyone wants to have friends and be popular. Just today i got into a squabble with three of my friends and who we are not talking. I was sad because i was scared I would be alone and have no one to hang out with or do anything with…they all left me. But you know what, God gives us situatuions like this to test yourself…you can do it…life is to short to be depressed and sad…get out there and make your mark on the world. I was very bumped almost depressed that i didnt have friends anymore so i text one person i knew and the said,” You still got me.” Everything will be alright…this is only a short time out of your whole world. HIGHSCHOOL sucks we all know it, but it also is the best thing..you have good memories and bad ones, but most important you grow. I always feel like no one understands me..that maybe im to deep and that things to seriously…but who cares…i am and I do…my family gets me and God gets me…if you look very closely you will realized you have friends…right now in life evrything seems to be blown out of proportion things that shouldnt mean anything mean the world…define who u are…if people see you one way either deal with it or change it. Change it by doing something…go to ur guadiance office and make an annocement, get into leadership, pass out a newsletter, write.

By: Cheesewin

Cheesewin — Wed, 21 May 2008 05:13:57 +0000

For all those of you who feel bad, try this for size?
I’m 45 and have never dated. That means I’ve never had a girlfriend. And guess what that means? I’ve never had sex. I don’t even know what a kiss feels like. There is only one thing I’m an expert about when it comes to women: And that’s knowing that they have no interest in me. It’s just the way it is. It’s my destiny to be alone the rest of my life. I’ve tried everything, buying fancy cars, dressing up, trying to be funny, trying to talk more and be more out-going. After all, they say the more you can build yourself up, that attracts women, because women like confidence. Well, that only backfired as a turnoff, because it made women think I was too arrogant. So then I thought I’d downplay myself, saying I’m poor, not dressing up so sharp, etc., BUT that backfired because women don’t like men who lack confidence. So then I tried to just be myself, and that doesn’t work either because it’s too generic. So I’ve given up, because it’s a lot easier to be at home alone, watch TV alone, eat alone. And though it kills my soul that I will never have a girl friend, I’m also aware that many guys who are married have nothing but misery and stress in their lives. So at least I can thank my stars that I’ll never be in that situation. I would rather be lonely and have money in my pocket rather than be dirt poor and have oodles of female companionship.
Despite never being an attraction for girls or women, I’ve been fortunate to have friends, even though I was never popular in high school. Though I still have friends, we don’t hang out as much, because they now have family commitments. So, I’ll just have to wait until their kids grow up. And when they do, we can start hanging out again. Until then, I’ll just have to cope with loneliness. What they say is true: LIFE SUCKS AND THEN YOU DIE! Why some of us are put on this planet is beyond me, because I have no business or purpose to exist. I wish I was dead, but don’t want to deal with the pain of killing myself either.

By: dily

dily — Thu, 08 May 2008 22:44:53 +0000

first, just let me say finding this page and reading the replies
actually made me feel good..
for once i find people who are actually anywhere close to my situation.
i too have no friends.. and kind of lost them around high-school time..
when i really think about it i cant figure out if i rejected them or did they..
either way im pretty sure being “left alone” was bound to happen eventually.

so here i am, 22 .. 0 friends, never even kissed a girl.
smart as i am i actually managed to get myself into a (pretty high paying) job with a bunch of old people. im litteraly the youngest BY FAR in the whole company.
so i just blocked any path to finding friends completly.. yay me.

i dont see myself getting out of this in any way, i see myself.. keeping this job and just going on and on till i probably one day find a way to get a gun and just finish it allready.
this is maybe a bit dark but i truely believe some people are born (genetically) inferrior to others,
and all of this is basically natures way of saying, you have no place here.
kind of a modern day natural selection.
except im pretty sure this feels allot worse than prehistoric natural selection, fighting a lion is probably less painfull than 7 years of lonely torture.(so far)

i have some good qualities, im supposedly funny..im a nice guy and consider myself a good person, im good at my job..
but i dont fit.

going from 0 friends to finding friends at 22, does not seem like something possible.

if anyone actually managed to do it (without joining some cult/religious group) please tell me, i might give it a shot.. i dont have much to lose anyway.

sorry if my perspective is a bit bleak.. im just telling it how it is.

By: Serah

Serah — Sat, 19 Apr 2008 12:04:42 +0000

Dear Troy,
I am too in year 9 and I feel you. For my whole life I had been with the same friends. I then, made a mistake by leaving them and going to another group. I have been making friends on and off all year long. But with everything I have been through I always had a friend to count on and know that I would never be alone. Now, with 2 months of school left, all of my friends have left me. Even the one person I thought I could always count on turned their back on me without allowing me to explain. They all have ruined my life and now, I have no reason to smile at all. I actually find it very hard to smile knowing that I have no hope of finding people to love again. I thought people were supposed to go through rough times but with people there supporting them. I am now offically depressed with nothing to look forward to. I still have a couple of years left of school and I have to go through them alone. I pray to God everything will work out for me and for you too.

I hope everything will turn out just great for you at the end because you sound like you deserve it. The only thing that hurts me the most is that they called me the one who has been betraying them.

Now, I just try my best to not lose hope and keep going on no matter what happens to me. For a girl my age, I have through so much and the only people there to support me are my family.

My only advice to you is to look and hope for a better future and to keep thinking of all of the positive things you have in your life. Think of all the other people who have far worse luck than you do. e.g Paralyzed, lost a member of their family or any loved ones, blind, deaf etc. Try to find a reason to smile and keep you going through the day.

Good Luck and Best Wishes**
Serah

P.S: Sorry if this isn’t helpful at all or if it didn’t provide anything you needed to know. But well, I tried

By: Troy

Troy — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 13:50:23 +0000

Hi I’m Troy. I live in Australia. I’m in my 9th year in High School and I have no friends. The 1st High School I went 2 was the one up the road from my house. I hated it so much I got depressed. So I changed to the High School on the other side of town with my sister. It was great! I made friends super fast and I had a cool group to hang with. Weeks past and the 2 boys in the group drifted off so I was left with the 3 girls in the group. They were really nice and funny. They never left me behind. But then the holidays came and as I went back to my usual thing I noticed things changing. One of the girls in the group had other friends so she rarely hung out with us. The other 2 had other friends so they also went to talk with them leaving me in the year 7 area. I knew some people from Primary School so I talked to them. I hung out with my lesbian friend Kylie and some other people. I hung out with Kylie’s group for a while until my old group came back together. But the boys in the group became mean and one of the boys and me had a fight in the library. So now the boys in our group hate me and only talk to the girls. I was upset that day and cried. The 3 girls from my old group came down near the library and comforted me and then walked off. My new friend Rhonda took me to the office and the boy was grounded by his parents and suspended. Me and Rhonda and her friend and a girl I knew from Primary School walked around our school doing our own thing. But then the year finished and the 7th year was coming into its second year of High School. Rhonda had found a new group in the Quad but we talked and sat together in classes. So I tagged along with the 3 girls from my old group from year 7. They invited some of their friends to join our group and then finally our group was settled. Due to my sister Popularity I noticed complete strangers were asking me how I was and talking to me. Since I’m from Aboriginal background I noticed I had many cousins that told me they had my back. The year was looking bright. But then the group split and the 3 girls that I had known from the start of High School totally ignored me. I remember walking up to them and trying to talk to them. But one of the girls said “What do you want!?”. So I just said bye and walked the other way. I was now hanging out with the these random girls who were nice but had their own thing. But I managed to get along in School. My attendance was horrible and I now hated school. I had no real friends. Kylie had her own thing to and drifted away from her group. But in certain classes I knew many peoples. I had Mitchell from Primary School, Kylie and others. Plus that class was the lowest and our teacher was a former hippie and was cool with what ever we did. I met Macey in my math class and we became good friends. We hanged out rarely but we couldn’t stop talking and laughing in class. So me and Macey had our own groups and School was looking better. New people came to my School who seemed good but then really annoyed me. So there was another negative tick on the list. months passed and the end year was coming. I found myself sitting alone most of the time and missing many days. I eventually had enough and refused to go to school. I know it didn’t seem so hard but I just got really angry and sad. The holidays came and my cousins came down ( who were popular in their own schools ) to visit. We had a blast. I wondered to myself how I can get along with people out of school so well. But the holidays passed and here I am now back at the 1st school ( which I haven’t attended since ) and sadder than ever. I have no friends and my family thinks I’m an internet freak or a loner. But they mean well. I have no idea why but I love New York City. I see my future there. And hopefully I can make many many friends in the Big Apple due to its different culture and peoples.

Since I have no friends I can;t really help people but I had to get that off my chest.
I feel much better knowing that I’m not alone. But life works out and something
will come across. just remember to attack the opportunity.

By: Suicideseeker@hotmail.com

Suicideseeker@hotmail.com — Sat, 22 Mar 2008 03:36:17 +0000

I too have no friends, I feel so lonely and suicidal about this. I never really had a friends anyway, just hung around a certain group. I had a neighbour who was the same age as me and so we hung out for most of my child hood and teenage year’s. all we did was play video games ( since that is all i am into ). once i had finished secondary school ( high school ) we never spoke again. he is intelligent and went to college and now lives in a city far away and has a great life while i am still living with my parent’s and have a shit factory job that i am sick of. i have been there 5 years now and can bearly remember anybody’s name, i have made no friend’s at all. the only person i can call is home, my mum or my sister. that is it. and i am tired of calling them, i need new people to interact with. i am 24 and also gay which makes things worse for me. being gay is a big burden and barrier for me expecially since i live in a rural area where everyone knows everyones business. I am afraid of what people will think of me especially my family. i think a lot of people who have been around me know well that i am gay but no one ever says anything except for when there are being thick and make smart comments to me to make themselves laugh or just to hurt me for whatever reason. I would love to kill myself but i know that no one would really give a fuck and that hurts me so i stick around ( i dont know why). i wish i had a friend or a counceller to talk too about this and mabe even get some help. I tried to kill myself once and ended up in the intensive care unit. the minute i got home i tried again b using a different method but could not go through iwth it. i got to see a counceller who was useless since i did not know what to say to him and wanted him to go away since all i could think about was death but know i could do with someone pretty badly, (even though i do not know what to say really). i have seen my doctor who has put me on prozac which seems to have helped even though just a little bit but now he told me he is going to take me off them in the next couple of month’s which just scares me since that is all i have. if i had some friends then i could just get some illegal drugs to help me out but that is impossible even though there are drugs every where these day’s. I dont know what to do anymore. i feel so messed up. i have no confidence or self esteem to help me get through anything in this life. i am not even sure i can kill myself. the doctor said he had sent a letter to a good friend of his who is a therapist who will talk to me but that has been ages and the this type of thing takes age’s where i live cause the mental health department sucks ass here along with a lot of other thing’s/ i know i am not doing anything to help myself and i should but i am to lazy and beside’s i dont know where to start. event talking to the doctor does not help. he can be pretty thivk sometimes and i am very sensitive ( im a pusrry basically). i feel so messed up. i dont know who i am or what i want. i dont really mind being by myself , its just when i see other people out with friends or just chating in the hallway i get so jelous. also not haveing arelationship sucks as well but if i cannot make any friends then how am i supposed to get into a relationship. especially a gay relationship. that is next to impossible. i hate writeing this also but i have no drink ( which is what useally calms me down ) so i need a outlet. i hope i either kill myself soon or end up in a fatla accident or get some fatal diesease. i cant stand my family since they dont seem to be doing any better than me though they sondt seem to care. i am tired of supressing my emotions just so i canget through another day, no one at works gives a fuck about me and that is the only time i leave the house and got somewhere social. if i was to lose my job i would not have a hope in hell of getting another one and i know that my parents would not put up with that. death is the only way out for me and even the people at work think so too ( i can tell) they will not fell anthing when i am gone nor withll the rest of the world. i hopw they dont find my body so there is no funerla sice it would have like 3 people at it. my family. that would be so lame.

By: cass

cass — Sun, 09 Mar 2008 00:35:09 +0000

I lost my best friends when I went away to college.I made new ones….but they still have their old friend….spring and Christmas break are extremely hard for me…going home with no friends….

By: Brittney

Brittney — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 02:47:25 +0000

nevermind that^